I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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