Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
