Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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