her vagine was all disorganized.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
