Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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