oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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