did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
