im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
