hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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