Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
