I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
