I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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