the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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