If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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