Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
