piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
