bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Me too!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
