if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
