just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
