Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
