For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out