I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body