Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
