Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.

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  (410): it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job. http://tfl.nu/iasx
  Replies (12) Good night (593) Bad night (3142)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.

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  (609): Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home. http://tfl.nu/wrow
  Replies (23) Good night (5040) Bad night (1048)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house

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  (218): Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house http://tfl.nu/lsbu
  Replies (17) Good night (4999) Bad night (921)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.

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  (845): I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again. http://tfl.nu/ku6h
  Replies (15) Good night (3408) Bad night (952)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.

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  (859): And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues. http://tfl.nu/sbd6
  Replies (9) Good night (2140) Bad night (1601)
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  (315): View more from New York

  That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

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  (315): That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm" http://tfl.nu/evrk
  Replies (7) Good night (941) Bad night (3062)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.

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  (512): Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent. http://tfl.nu/bb3p
  Replies (7) Good night (1123) Bad night (2387)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.

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  (402): At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar. http://tfl.nu/wx7w
  Replies (3) Good night (1482) Bad night (709)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...

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  (646): I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies... http://tfl.nu/y6hf
  Replies (8) Good night (1981) Bad night (722)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.

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  (512): Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person. http://tfl.nu/kj3e
  Replies (5) Good night (2637) Bad night (721)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.

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  (914): He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast. http://tfl.nu/061g
  Replies (4) Good night (790) Bad night (494)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?

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  (734): The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low? http://tfl.nu/9f5e
  Replies (4) Good night (658) Bad night (341)
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  (716): View more from New York

  My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.

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  (716): My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline. http://tfl.nu/yjcz
  Replies (2) Good night (223) Bad night (614)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.

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  (913): Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/j2n2
  Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (148)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?

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  (321): Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed. (407): Will there be champagne when they see the pay check? http://tfl.nu/lofm
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (112)

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