Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?

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(989): View more from Michigan

Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(706): View more from Georgia

We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.

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(817): View more from Texas

I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.

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(646): View more from New York

I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go

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(647): View more from Ontario

My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.

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