Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
