I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
