Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

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(847): View more from Illinois

how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked

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(972): View more from Texas

I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them

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(410): View more from Maryland

Wheres my essay?

(415): View more from California

You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?

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(563): View more from Iowa

He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.

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