Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.

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  (817): Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes. http://tfl.nu/1ozx
  Replies (16) Good night (4345) Bad night (902)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?

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  (201): My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question? http://tfl.nu/fkcd
  Replies (76) Good night (1112) Bad night (11624)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.

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  (732): I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations. http://tfl.nu/j5w5
  Replies (48) Good night (4879) Bad night (1884)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version

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  (512): they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version http://tfl.nu/ectn
  Replies (32) Good night (2333) Bad night (4655)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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  (267): You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room http://tfl.nu/2vn0
  Replies (12) Good night (4384) Bad night (1119)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship

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  (252): I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship http://tfl.nu/ldcl
  Replies (21) Good night (4424) Bad night (1411)
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  (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

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  (714): im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me http://tfl.nu/k37i
  Replies (8) Good night (3548) Bad night (759)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave

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  (614): All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave http://tfl.nu/wc16
  Replies (6) Good night (3302) Bad night (860)
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  (408): View more from California

  he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."

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  (408): he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink." http://tfl.nu/8gq0
  Replies (25) Good night (3682) Bad night (6291)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.

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  (917): He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house. http://tfl.nu/rgic
  Replies (10) Good night (2578) Bad night (1128)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.

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  (253): Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real. http://tfl.nu/8edz
  Replies (7) Good night (2566) Bad night (874)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.

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  (309): I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you. http://tfl.nu/n7q4
  Replies (3) Good night (1981) Bad night (702)
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  (510): View more from California

  Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.

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  (510): Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious. http://tfl.nu/ftps
  Replies (3) Good night (1499) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car

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  (773): It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car http://tfl.nu/9u20
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.

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  (630): he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding. http://tfl.nu/dq8r
  Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (556)

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