he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
