i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
