I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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