So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
