i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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