Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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