he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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