Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
