So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
