I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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