That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
