I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
