are you still at the devil's house?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
