so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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