it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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