I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize