my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
