no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
