why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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