is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
