woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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