please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
