Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
