So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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