He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
