it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
