Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just pee around me
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
