Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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