its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My bed smells like the plague
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
