remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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