Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
