did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
