Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
