how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
