eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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