U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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