wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize