When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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