Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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